Trapped in myths
by Bam it's Rachel
Summary: The characters of Les mis have got stuck in a Greek mythology book. To get back they have to complete the myths. Features Enjolras as Apollo, Grantaire as the God of alcohol, Gavroche as Paris and many other myths involved. Much better than summary. No non-cannon pairings except for in the myths e.g Apollo and Daphne
1. Apollo and Daphne

Trapped in myths

Author's note: Yes I am back with another story. I may be putting too much on my plate but I have a large stomach. Wow that was weird. Basically I love a challenge so five stories Psh no problem. Yes this is humour one. I got this idea looking in my attic and found all my books…. I looked through all ten boxes and found my Greek mythology books and then it hit me. Yes my Les misérables book fell on my toe as I hit my head on the shelf in my bedroom. So it is time for a new story of craziness…

Also all the barricade boys, Gavroche, Eponine, Cosette, Musichetta are in this but I can't write for all of them in one scene. But Fantine, Valjean and Javert will make an appearance every now and then.

Disclaimer: I'll own les mis when Enjolras's can fly

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Entering the myths.

Enjolras's p.o.v

Grantaire: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Apollo, happy birthday to you. *Carrying big cake.*

Enjolras: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!

Courfeyrac: Oww the birthday boy is pouting.

Enjolras: *signature death glare normally reserved for Grantaire*

Joly: Here *put's a pink birthday hat on him*

Enjolras: * rips off hat*

Jehan: Present time!

Enjolras: Please no

Jehan: *Glares* you will sit there like a good little boy and open your presents

Eponine: Or we will force you to spend the day with a girl.

Enjolras: You wouldn't *wide eyed*

Combeferre: You should know by now we would so open you're presents.

Enjolras: *glares at everyone* Fine *opens presents.*

Enjolras: Ha ha ha very funny Grantaire. *holds up a Greek mythology book*

Grantaire: What can I say buddy.

*opens rest of the presents.*

Feuilly: Let us eat cake.

Gavroche: Mmmmm cake.

*Lightning and thunder *

Grantaire: Apollo, tell your father to put his lightning bolts away.

Enjolras: Very funny. Let's go inside before it rains.

*All go inside when a blue flash lightning happened.*

Bahorel: That was weird…

Bossuet: Does anyone else feel tired?

Everyone else: yeah

Courfeyrac: I think it's time for a nap.

*Everyone falls asleep*

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*Everyone wakes up in a weird room.*

Cosette: God my head hurts.

Bossuet: I can second that.

Grantaire: Is this what a hangover feels like?

Combeferre: You should know.

Grantaire: I don't get them *sticks out tongue*

Enjolras: What happened?

Me: Hello.

Courfeyrac: Who are you?

Me: I'm the person who caused this.

Enjolras: What's this?

Me: You are stuck in the Greek mythology book Grantaire got you.

Everyone: Say what.

Me: You will be in this room or completing a myth. But you will be selected to do each myth and disappear and reappear. To leave the book, you must complete each myth. Good luck. *I disappear*

Courfeyrac: This is freaky.

Enjolras: Grantaire why did- *Enjolras disappears

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Enjolras: you buy that- wait where am I? Hey Jehan you're here two. Wait why have I got a lyre? Damn it I'm Apollo.

Jehan: Well I have wings so stop complaining. Wait wings, arrows I'm Eros. I think I know this story.

Enjolras: What is it? *scared witless*Jehan stop playing with those arrow's they are not toys…

Jehan: It's the story of Apollo and Daphne.

Enjolras: *groans* hurry up so we get this over with…

Jehan: *shoots Enjolras with arrow* you will now fall in love with the first person you see. I hope it's not Grantaire because I will fall of the cloud laughing. Which you will do now. Have a fun trip. *Pushes Enjolras of the cloud.*

Enjolras: Fuck you Jehan *hits the floor with a loud bang* great. Wow who's that…?

Eponine: This too freaky.

Enjolras: Eponine, you must be Daphne. You are the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Eponine: Not this story. Leave me alone Enjolras.

Enjolras: I will not until you admit you're in love with me.

*Eponine runs away*

Eponine: I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!  
Enjolras: I will die if I don't kiss you.

Eponine: I will die if I have to kiss you.

Mother Earth: That's not nice, Apollo leave Daphne alone.

Enjolras: I shall ask her to marry me.

Eponine: I don't want to marry anyone.

Mother Earth: I'll shall turn you into an olive tree if you don't want him to love you

Eponine: Really an olive tree?

Mother Earth: Fine, how about a rose bush.

Eponine: Something else please.

Mother Earth: Ok but this is the last one. You shall be a laurel tree.

Enjolras: *Hugs her tightly.* My Daphne. You are a tree.

*Removes his hands.*

Enjolras: I shall make a crown of Laurel leaves to remember you. That's weird because the leaves will eventually- *Enjolras and the tree disappear*

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Enjolras: -rot and I'm back. Eponine you are no longer a tree!

Eponine: Thank God it was horrible. You would think it's relaxing but it is the worse.

Grantaire: What happened?

Enjolras: We were stuck in the story of Daphne and Apollo.

Eponine: It was horrible. I had to run, and I was turned into a tree.

Enjolras: How do you think I feel? I was shot by an arrow and fell of a cloud!

Combeferre: Shut up wait where's Marius and Cosette?

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Author's note: Sorry I had to have Jehan as Eros the God of love, it was too tempting.

I did change the story a bit more as in the actual myth Apollo does not fall of a cloud. But the reason he was shoot with an arrow was because he was telling Eros of playing with his arrows and saying they weren't toys so Eros hit him with his ones, which had been dipped in an aphrodisiac.

Well there's my little explanation and the next chapter will be Orpheus. So expect a love struck Marius.

Love you all xxx


	2. Orpheus and Paris's problem

Author's note: I do not normally write two chapters in one day but I am really bored. Thank you for reviews and following and favouring this story… favouring is that correct English anyways.

Disclaimer: I will own les when Grantaire becomes sober

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Orpheus and Paris's problems.

Marius: where am I? Oh cool a lyre I must be Apollo.

Some random Greek person: Good joke Orpheus, pretending to be you're father *walks away.*

Cosette: Marius I have a bad feeling about this.

Marius: So do I. Cosette be careful.

Cosette: What… *snake bites Cosette*

Marius: Oh no my beloved.

*Cosette dies*

Marius: How will I go on? I must bring my beloved back to life… but how?

Greek person: *cough* Go see hades *cough*

Marius: Cheers. *Takes Cosette's body, buries it and tries to find the river Styx*

*Two days later*

Marius: I wish I could read maps! Oh cool that river leads underground. Wait why am |I seeing Hades, in the underworld with just a lyre and nothing else?

You lot: Because you are an idiot!

Marius: Who said that?

You lot: Erm… it was the wind.

Marius: Oh ok. *skips of underground*

Ferryman: I can't let you go to Hades. Come back when you're dead.

Marius: Please let me.

Ferryman: Wait you're Orpheus.

Marius: No I'm Mari… yes I am Orpheus.

Ferryman: I'll make you a deal. You sing and play the lyre for me and I'll take you to your great uncle.

Marius: Uncle Henri?

Ferryman: *laughs thinking he's joking* No I'll take you to Hades.

Marius: Ok… what.

Ferryman: Just sing lover boy.

Marius: Ok

Roses are red

Violets are not blue

I played you are song

Now let me go through

Ferryman: *wipes tears* Climb aboard.

Marius: This place is scary.

Ferryman: Here's a joke. Why did the cow cross the road?

Marius: Cow's cross roads.

Ferryman: You are lucky you can sing because you are not the sharpest spear in the Spartan army.

Marius: I joined the army?

Ferryman: *Face palm* Well you are here and good luck. *under breath* you will need it.

Marius: Thanks. *Walks into Hades throne room.*

Javert: What are you doing here?

Marius: Javert? You're the lord of the underworld. No wonder everyone hates you.

Javert: What do you want?

Marius: I'm Orpheus and I am here to get my wife. She died too soon and I cannot live without her.

Persephone: Oww sweetie. Why not we have a trade you sing us a song. And we will give you Eurydice and a way out of hell.

Marius: Ok, but why do people want to hear me sing.

There's a grief that can't be spoken

There's a pain that goes on and on

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now may friends are dead and gone

Here they talked off revolution

Here it was they lit the flame

Here they sang about tomorrow

A tomorrow that never came

From the-

Javert: Stop singing *wipes tears.* get your wife.

Marius: You didn't let me finish!

Javert: Just go!

Marius: *Gets Cosette.*

Javert: Now because I'm Hades. Everything I do there is a task.

Persephone: I already know about that *Glares at Javert.*

Hades: What can I say you ate the seeds you have to stay…? Anyway you cannot look at Eurydice until you leave the underworld.

Marius: So basically my wife has come back from the dead and I can't see that it is really true never mind hug her like a normal person would do.

Javert: It's a small price to pay for your wife's life. Now go before I change my mind.

*Marius leaves with Cosette*

Cosette: Are we there yet?

Marius: No

Cosette: Are we there yet?

Marius: No

Cosette: Are we there yet?

Marius: *turns to look at her* One more step and we are. COSETTE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

Cosette: You broke the deal so now I have to leave you gain.

Marius: DAMN IT! I guess I have to sing sad songs until-

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Marius: - I get ripped apart by wome- never mind I'm here. Cosette you're alright.

Cosette: Yes and dying is not fun just to warn you.

Enjolras: What myth were you in?

Cosette: Orpheus and Eurydice. And Javert was Hades

Enjolras: Great that would mean I was Pontmercy's father. And I am not surprised about Javert

Marius: Hey hurtful. And why did everyone ask me to sing for them?

Enjolras: *face palm.* Hey where did Eponine, Gavroche and Musichetta go?

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Paris's problem

Gavroche: Sweet, I'm a prince. Oh my God I'm at a party. That means food!

*Gavroche starts eating*

Mme Thénardier: Fine if you don't invite me to the party then I'll ruin it. This golden apple will be given to the fairest goddess.

Zeus: Go away Eris, this is why we don't invite you anywhere. You cause discord.

Mme Thénardier: Well duh I'm the Goddess of discord. Now catch. *chucks the Golden apple*

Musichetta: Eponine, we have to fight over the apple.

Eponine: Why?

Musichetta: It's the story. I'm Athena, you're Aphrodite and that's Hera.

Eponine: Of course I'm the goddess of love. The irony.

Fantine: That's my apple. Athena give it here.

Musichetta: No I'm the fairest.

Eponine: ladies we all know I'm the fairest.

Fantine: There is only one way to decide. Paris!

Gavroche: Oh boy… I knew this was too good.

Fantine: You decide who is the fairest.

Gavroche: Umm who gives the best bribe will win.

Fantine: Argh I'll show you a bribe..,

Eponine: I'll handle this. Gav- Paris you give me the apple and you will have Helen of Sparta fall in love with you.

Gavroche: Ewww she has girl germs.

Musichetta: Just accept it. Its how the story goes.

Gavroche: Fine here's you're stupid apple.

Author's note: Hello again I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry for Marius fans for making him stupid but I couldn't help it.

In Orpheus and Eurydice, Eurydice is a nymph. And Orpheus is the son of Apollo and one of the muses. So he had his father's musical skills. (Apollo was the God of Music, Healing, the sun and e.c.t) Also the muses were musical as well. Humans and beasts could be soothed by his voice so he was very famous. Eurydice died on her way back from they're wedding by a jealous shepherd boy using a viper to bite her.

And the story of the three goddesses and the golden apple, the Goddess Eris who was the goddess of discord wasn't invited to feast (I wonder why *sarcastic eye roll*) and so became angry and then caused the argument with the three goddesses. They asked Paris to judge as he was thought to be fair and wise. But as he asked for the bribe he ended up cursing himself by running away with Helena and causing the battle of troy and his death as well as his peoples. (Paris was the prince of troy if you are wondering.)

Thank you for reading and I LOVE YOU ALL XXX


	3. Dionysus and Patria comes to life !

Author's note: I am back again. Time for Grantaire's myth as Dionysus. (The God of wine, fertility, having a good time. He was associated with drunkenness, madness and unrestrained sexuality.) And I also have the myth Pygmalion aswell. (He was a sculptor who avoided women so guess who he's going to be)

Disclaimer: I'll own les mis when I turn into Aphrodite

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Dionysus and pirates

Grantaire: This so boring there's nothing to drink here! I mean it all they have given us to drink is water!

Combeferre: That is a good thing.

Enjolras: Maybe he might become sombre when we get back.

Grantaire: fat chance.

Joly: When we get back. He'll be sober and we will all be drunkards.

Everyone: *Mutters in agreement*

Enjolras: I'll never be a drunkard.

Grantaire: *mimics Enjolras* I'll never be a drunk-

Enjolras: Oh no. Grantaire has to do a myth. We'll never get back.

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Grantaire: -ard. Wait a minuet… is that alcohol. THANK THE LORD! *starts drinking*

*half an hour and a very drunk Grantaire*

Pirate #1: He will make a good trade in Egypt. Let's sell him as a slave.

Grantaire: I… ain't …noooboodies ssslave. I am an innnndependanttt woooomen.

Combeferre: *face palm* we should have known Grantaire would be Dionysus.

Bahorel: At least we don't have anything major to do.

Combeferre: Actually we are pirates.

Bahorel: I'm scared of pirates. Hold me.

Combeferre: NO!

Pirate #1: Will you shut up.

Pirate #2: Help me grab the drunk.

Combeferre: Grantaire, come with us.

Grantaire: 99 vases of rum on the wall

99 vases of rum

I take one down

And chug it down

Pirate#2: SHUT UP.

Grantaire: Some ones PMSing.

Pirates #2: NO I'M NOT!

Grantaire: Give me more of that rum. It is so damn good.

Combeferre: Grantaire, it is 9 in the morning. We are signing you up for AA meetings when we get back.

Grantaire: Drinking rum before the afternoon doesn't make you an alcoholic. It makes you a pirate.

Pirates, Combeferre and Bahorel: *Face palm*

Pirates: Can we kill him?

Combeferre: Sadly no. He's Dionysus, and do you want to anger Zeus.

Pirate#1: Will he really miss this wasted little boy.

Grantaire: Is vase or _vase_. It is the question that has been asked since the dawn of time.

Bahorel: I doubt it but do you want to risk anything?

Pirate#1: You're right. We will jump over board. You steer him to shore. *Pirates jumped off the boat*

Combeferre: *face palm* Great a drunk Grantaire has to get a girl to agree to marry him.

Bahorel: Stranger things have happened. Remember that time when he and Enjolras switched bodies for a month.

Combeferre: I remember. It was horrible.

Grantaire: Oh I see a siren. Damn it the ship has left me on a cliff. Hey what's wrong with you?

Ariadne: I'm going to die alone.

Grantaire: Join the club sista.

Ariadne: I was rescued by Theseus but he forgot about me when he saw a different girl.

Grantaire: That's not very nice.

Ariadne: Can I have some of that? *points to alcohol.*

Grantaire: Knock yourself out. Not literally though. Now tell me all your problems…

Ariadne: *goes on about how no one loves her.*

Grantaire: Hey why do we not get married?

Ariadne: Why not, this is ancient Greece.

Grantaire: Why not- *disappears*

Ariadne: Damn it! I guess I should start collecting my cats.

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Grantaire: -let's get married. *realises he's back*

Enjolras: Um… I'm flattered butt you're not my type.

Grantaire: I wasn't talk- wait did Enjolras make a joke?

Enjolras: Stranger things have happened. Remember that month we swapped bodies.

Grantaire: Yeah that was really freaky.

Eponine: Anyway who were you?

Grantaire: Dionysus. I got to drink.

Combeferre: He was really hard to control.

Bahorel: He made Pirates jump overboard.

Jehan: Are you really that surprised? He makes us want to kill ourselves.

Enjolras: Or kill-

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Enjolras: -kill him ourselves… damn it not again.

Greek women #1: hello Pygmalion *flirtatious wink*

Enjolras: *recoils* Please leave me alone.

Greek women #1: *pouts* Why don't you want to be married.

Enjolras: That is one way to personal for you to ask. And second my job is more important.

Greek women #1: *walks away.*

Enjolras: At least I'm not Apollo again. I feel tired. I think it's time for a nap.

*Enjolras's dream*

Eponine: Oi Enjolras you got to marry someone because you are making my life difficult!

Enjolras: Gah Eponine, why are you in my dreams?

Eponine: I'm freaking Aphrodite… again. Basically you're rejecting love blah, blah. You will marry someone in the village.

Enjolras: That's ironic. Also ewww girls have girl germs.

Eponine: You sound like Gavroche and being Aphrodite is no picnic.

Enjolras: Can I make a statue of you first?

Eponine: Weird question but knock yourself out. But you have to marry afterwards.

Enjolras: Damn it, ok.

Eponine: That was a lot easier than expected. Well I have other business. It is like being a mother fucking fairy godmother. But bye. *vanishes*

*Enjolras wakes up*

Enjolras: That was freaky but better get started on that statue.

*One year later*

Enjolras: There my statue is complete. It so weird it doesn't look like a statue, she is more human than that. *Sigh* I wish she was real. If she was she would be called Patria. * goes to sleep

Eponine: *Invisible, uh huh you heard me* Hehe he fell in love with his own art. Damn it he won't fall in love with anyone else now and then I'll be stuck as Aphrodite. Seriously if I have to solve one more "I like this boy but he likes someone else." Question I'll turn back into sea foam. Oh well let's give a marble man a real marble women *statue turns human.*

Patria: What the fuck.

Enjolras: Holy shit.

Eponine: Aphrodite out… *disappears*

Enjolras: You're real?

Patria: Yes.

Enjolras: Eponine had-

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Enjolras: -to do with this. I'm back.

Eponine: How was the marble woman? *sniggers*

Enjolras: shut up Aphrodite.

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Author's notes: Hello again. Sorry I had to have Enjolras as Pygmalion as he avoids women and falls in love with his own creation. And image Grantaire's reaction if he was there?

With Grantaire as Dionysus, I did change it a bit as the Pirates were more violent and mean. But Dionysus turned into a lion and made them drop him at the island Naxos. But some myths say he met Princess Ariadne on the cliffs of Thrace crying as Theseus broke his promise to marry her as he ran away with a different women Even though she saved his life helping him escape the Minotaur. But Dionysus fell in love with her and married her.

Goodbye for now and I LOVE YOU ALL XXX


	4. Atlanta and Melanion

Author's note: hello sorry for the long wait, I was too lazy to update this story… as I was just too lazy. Anyway I'm back with more mythology. So onwards….

Disclaimer: I own a Greek mythology book, a copy of Les Misérables and a hula hoop

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Atlanta and the golden apples (the Greeks and Romans seem a bit obsessed with them…)

Cosette: I AM SO BORED!

Musichetta: I agree. All I've done is fight over an apple with Hera and Eponine.

Cosette: Well I died, got brought back to life and then died again.

Musichetta: Oh… that does sound fun-

Cosette: I guess I'm _On my own_

Eponine: Bitch that's mine…

*leave their fight to be with Musichetta.*

Musichetta: Great back in a myth. Please say there's no golden apples this time.

King Iasus: Atlanta, remember your bargain. So go and get ready.

Musichetta: What bargain?

King Iasus: *Huffs in irritation* the one about you only marrying if the suitor beats you in a race.

Musichetta: Oh… ok. *mutters under breath* Thank God… no golden apples.

Joly's p.o.v

Joly: Where am I?

Eponine: You are a myth and so am I. Again as freaking Aphrodite. I am not amused.

Joly: That's ironic.

Eponine: That is what Enjolras said as well.

Joly: So what myth is this?

Eponine: Atlanta and you are Melanion.

Joly: What do I have to do?

Eponine: * Checks clip board that magically appeared.* Go to King Iasus's palace. Fall in love with Atlanta, who is Chetta. I give you three golden apples. You have to beat Atlanta in a race to marry her. You win by distracting her with the apples. Beat her. I make her fall in love with you and you get married.

Joly: Sounds like a plan. Now where is King Isus-

Eponine: Iasus. His palace is across the road.

Joly: Oh easy. Ok bye for now Ponine.

Eponine: Bye and *poof* here are three golden apples.

Joly: Cool thanks, they are clean.

Eponine: *disappears*

Joly: That's creepy… *puts the apples in his man bag (do not ask why he has one)*

Musichetta: Joly, you're the suitor?

Joly: Yes… why do you sound surprised?

Musichetta: Just didn't expect it. *both line up*

King Iasus: On your mark, get set and go!

Musichetta: I'm winning…

Joly: *Pathetically throws the first apple* Damn it she didn't see.

Musichetta: Joly, you are losing Haha

Joly: *Throws the second apple and misses again* Not again

Musichetta: Almost over the line.

Joly: Last go *throws the apple and hits Musichetta over the head, knocking her out.*

Musichetta: *blacks out*

Joly: I win *poses like Usain Bolt*

King Iasus: WOO SHE HAS TO MARRY!

Musichetta: Great… I see _ stars in they're multitude _

Javert: *suddenly appears* NO THAT IS MY LINE, GET YOUR OWN LINES. *Disappears again.*

Joly: That was weird.

Musichetta: You're telling me. Wait is that another GOLDEN APPLE. GAH I HATE THEM!

Eponine: *Reappears with Jehan*

Musichetta: I see you are still Aphrodite…

Eponine: Shut up and Jehan do your thing.

Jehan: It would be my pleasure *Shots Musichetta with a love arrow*

Musichetta: Joly I think- *everyone disappears*

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Musichetta: I love you.

Enjolras: WHY IS EVERYONE PROCLAMING THEIR LOVE FOR ME!

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Authors note: Sorry for the short update. But in my defence it is 02:25 am and I am running of coffee fumes.

In the story of Atlanta she is famous for her beauty and how fast she could run. She didn't ever want to marry, so she made a deal with her father that she would marry a man who could beat her. But no one could. Melanion fell in love with her and prayed to the goddess Aphrodite. She always felt sorry for those rejected by love (Aphrodite could be great help to me right now) and felt a duty to help them. So gave him three golden apples. These destracted Atlanta, allowing Melanion to beat her in the race and he got to marry her.

Aphrodite then made Atlanta fall in love with and I quote 'succumbed to desire' for Melanion. But they were passing a shrine to Zeus at the time. And they *insert non k+ content* there. Zeus was so angry he turned them into lions. This was a romantic tragedy for the Greeks as they thought lions could only mate with Leopards. But that doesn't make sense as they would become Lipards?

I'll update soon LOVE YOU ALL XXX


	5. Pandora and mean girl Cosette

Author's note: hello again. Sorry that the updating of this story is so irregular. But yeah I'm back again. I had a doctor's appointment in Wales on Wednesday meaning I had to go down on Tuesday and yesterday I just couldn't be arsed… no excuse just pure laziness.

Disclaimer: Victor Hugo is in my wardrobe. So I cannot be him….

Pandora

Cosette: How much longer will we be here?

Eponine: I don't know, but I am fed up of being the goddess of love.

Cosette: Why you Aphrodite, you are forever alone.

Eponine: Wow that was below the belt.

Cosette: The truth hurts…

Eponine: Well at least I am not going out with an idiot.

Marius: Who's an idiot?

Enjolras: Napoleon is.

Marius: No he's not. *starts to cry*

Eponine: Good pull *sarcastic eye roll*

Cosette: *Sigh* Shu-

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Cosette: -t up. DAMN IT!

Zeus: great work Hephaestus. At least now Epimetheus will shut up and that Apollo will stop saying no one cares about his lonely soul.

Hephaestus: yeah that his whining has gotten super annoying.

Cosette: WHAT THE HELL! WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MARIUS?!

Zeus: Who?

Cosette: Never mind…

Hephaestus: Umm…

Zeus: Anyway Pandora, you will marry Epimetheus.

Cosette: Gah, do I get a choice?

Zeus: No, no you will not.

Cosette: Hrph

Zeus: I will also give you this box which I will lock and give the key to your husband.

*couple of days later*

Marius: I FEEL SO LONELY!

Enjolras: AS I SAID NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LONELY SOUL! *disappears*

Marius: I STILL FEEL SO LONELY!

Zeus: WE KNOW YOU HAVE A LONELY SOUL! AND IT IS VERY ANNOYING! So we made you a wife, Pandora.

Marius: Cosette, I don't know what to say.

Cosette: Just make no sound.

Marius: I am lost.

Cosette: I SAID DO NOT TALK!

Marius: Eek, I would prefer to have a lonely soul than be married to her.

Zeus: Tough luck. Here's the key for that box she's holding. DO NOT OPEN IT EVER!

Marius: Why?

Zeus: Because I said.

Marius: Why.

Zeus: grrr, leave me alone *disappears*

Cosette: That was weird. Let's open the box.

Marius: But he told us not to,

Cosette: Why?

Marius: I don't know. Ooooo butterfly, I wonder if it tastes like butter. *Drops the key.*

Cosette: What do I see in him? Anyway let's open this box.

*Cosette opens the box and returns back to the Amis.*

Enjolras: Is Marius still lonely?

Cosette: Is Grantaire still keeping your bed warm.

Courfeyrac: You walked right into that one.

Enjolras: I DON'T LOVE GRANTAIRE! *STORMS OFF*

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Authors note: Hello again. Sorry I have to have mean girl Cosette. It is much more fun to write than 'I fell in love with the first stalker I noticed stalking me in the garden Luxemburg' Cosette. I don't know if I'll update tomorrow as I am seeing my dad for the first time in six months and have to be *shudders* sociable.

Anyway goodbye and a virtual cookie for you all **(::)** xxxx


	6. Hephaestus and sassy Bossuet

Author's note: hello, sorry for the long wait but I have been very not busy. Basically I am a lazy arse who can't be motivated to get up and research and then write.

So this chapter is the story of Hephaestus's birth and how Hera chucked him off mount Olympus.

Madame Thénardier- Hera

Feuilly- Hermes (messenger god. As well as the god of thieves.)

Bossuet- Hephaestus (God of Fire and metalworking)

Disclaimer: Yes I own les mis and I also own a flying pig.

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Bossuet: Enjolras, how long have we been here?

Enjolras: I do not know.

Bossuet: am I the only one who hasn't gone in a myth yet?

Feuilly: Nope.

Enjolras: You two are lucky.

Eponine: I hate it here.

Bossuet: It is very-

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Bossuet: -boring. Oh this place is cool. And I'm a baby. WHAT DA FORKLIFT!

Mme Thénardier: Ewww another brat here, just what I needed here. *Glares at Bossuet*

Bossuet: Just my luck. I have a troll for a mother.

Mme Thénardier: Respect me brat.

Bossuet: Who's the brat here gargoyle?

Mme Thénardier: Oh no you didn't *sassy finer snap thing.*

Bossuet: Oh yes I did…

Mme Thénardier: THAT IS IT! I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU SO MUCH, I am. I am… erm what was it again. OH YEAH CHUCK YOU OFF THE MOUNTAIN. That was it.

Bossuet: Even you are a cold hearted !*&^ but to chuck a baby off a high mountain.

Mme Thénardier: *DEATH GLARE!*

Bossuet: Anyways what will Zeus say?

Mme Thénardier: *scratches the stubble on her Chin.* Well whoops someone left this banana peel. *pretends to trip and chucks Bossuet off Olympus*

Bossuet: This really isn't my day is it? Just hope I remembered to pay my health insurance. I wonder if being chucked out of heaven by a bitchy Goddess is covered. Anyways ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *hits the floor.*

Feuilly: Yo mothertrucker, whats occurring? **A/n: yeah Feuilly is speaking in a farmer's way then, don't worry.**

Bossuet: Hera chucked me off Olympus.

Feuilly: I'll take you back.

Bossuet: Cheers bro.

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Authors note: Hey boiii's how ya doin…. Sorry for the crappy chapter. I enjoyed writing a bit of sassy Bossuet as no one else ever seems to do it.

I do not know when the next update will be, I promise it won't be as long this time.

Well goodbye and goodnight mes Amis I'm off to eat ben and jerry's xxx


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